Let there be... greige!

Some exciting news in the life of the Bulls: We got a NEW CAMERA!! This is a real camera now, not the rinky dink one on the iPhone. For your vision's sake, I'll actually be taking photos with proper white balance and exposure and light and all that other stuff.

I mean, not right now, but when I figure out how to use it. Until I can repost about the paint color that I love so dearly, I'll just talk about it.

It brings light to my life.

It is the world's perfect color.

It made me tear up (not kidding).

Ready for some before and after action?

So, it's not a perfect before/after shot. That will have to wait until after the whole shebang (including the floor!) is over. But what do ya think? I'm in lurve.

Here's an up close shot so you can see the difference between the old, builder beige ugliness that was there and our inspired new color:

It makes me want to sing.

The paint is Kelly Moore, but the color is matched to Glidden's Wood Smoke. It is the perfect gray. Not too blue so that it looks like newsprint, but blue enough that it makes the trim pop. It matches our granite perfectly and makes the whole house feel cozier and more... Bull. We love it!

Wait, did I already say that?

Hello, gorgeous.

If you'll forgive me, I'm about to overload today with posts. There are several reasons for this:

1. I have a lot to say.
2. I only have a computer, two week's worth of clothing, a Chiweenie, and a deck of Uno cards to keep me entertained until Monday.
3. I like purple.

Not sure where that last one came from. It just felt right.

Anyway, us Bulls have been tinkering a bit with the house since we got to actually sleep in it. We're on an air mattress, we have no window coverings, and the house is completely covered in dust, but we are HERE. Because it's kind of a hurry-up-and-wait situation, we've been figuring out ways to entertain ourselves while waiting on contractors. While the painting was being done (because we hate painting AND had the budget for it, score), we had to vacate the house for a few hours. Art was at work and I had Peanut, which limited my entertainment possibilities.

So what did the pooch and I do? Drove to Tahoe. Natch!

Please. I live two hours away from this?? I wish the photos did it justice.

 You see there... Beach. Dock. Snow. Mountains. All of my favorite things in one location! I can't believe I live here. I mean, I don't live here... you know what I mean.

Peanut thoroughly enjoyed his FIRST walk on a beach. He also assured me that those big honking tracks on the beach were just a really big dog and not a really big bear.

It was still pretty chilly when we went, but I hear amazing things about the lake in the summer.

Hello, gorgeous.

No matter where you go along the water, you can see mountains. Amazing.

On our way back, we passed the most adorable little sign that said, "Dog Bakery." Pardon? I have a dog. So of course we stopped and little Peanuts trotted himself right on in to see this beauty.

Yes, those are all for dogs.

P-Brittle got a cheese straw...

... which he didn't really like.

He also got a chocolate covered squirrel (dog-friendly), which he ate so fast I didn't get to take another photo of it.

See ya around Tahoe, we will be back!

Maybe just for the dog treats. Maybe not.

Things we've done..

We closed on Rawlings! Yippee!! After a brief moment of buyer's remorse (What have we done?? I barely know how to hang drywall, how am I supposed to renovate a whole house??), we are back to being really excited. It's strange, we've only been in the house for four days, and we're sleeping on an air mattress and living out of suitcases, but it already feels like home. Floors are our their way, and painting commences tomorrow! Here's a little rundown on how we've spent our time:

We took lots of walks from the hotel to the house, wondering who that was parked in our driveway:

We "broke" into the backyard, Peanut chased a tennis ball, and I wondered what kind of landscaping would make the house look less like a prison:

We learned that rattlesnakes are in our neighborhood. I unexpectedly learned that I'd rather have rattlesnakes near a pond than scorpions in my curtains.

We ate sushi. A lot of sushi. Cuz we can.

We saw sheep.

We found a Mexican restaurant made totally of sunflowers!

We sampled some local beer (and wine!):

We saw more sheep.

Peanut decided he liked sheep.

Art got punched in the head at a thai restaurant.

Twice.

I tried to learn about "undertones."

I live in wine country, and still prefer $3 wine.

I made a quilt top!

We went to beautiful, breathtaking Napa.

Once we finally got into the house, I quickly realized that it looks eerily like my parents house in Ohio.

On day 2, we begun demo! Goodbye weird mantel/desk/particle-board-nailed-to-the-baseboards

Art got his aggression out by kicking down said mantel.

See? Nailed into the baseboards.

Boom. See ya.

Peanut asked to go home.

And hid.

Our painters arrived, commenting on how weird the previous homeowner was, and also how crappy of a job Fannie Mae did hiding the crazy. They started fixing all the ate up walls!

And the house just kept getting weirder. We found this...

And this...

And... this...

Before the painters came, we had the superfun project of taking everything off the walls... outlet covers, light fixtures, blinds, and all. Art wasn't home, so I took the power drill and went to down. I noticed one of the outlets was upside down, with the ground on the top, and that bugged me. I grabbed it, tried to turn it, and ZAP. Apparently those things have an electrical charge. I quit, and Art thankfully finished the job when he got home.

So, among the many things we've done since moving in, we also learned not to stick your fingers in a light socket. I wish someone would have told me that.

Still loving California... but stil homeless.

When we bought this foreclosure, we knew it would be a long while before we actually got to move in. We could have bought a brand new, hot-off-the-presses house and have our stuff already settled and organized. Instead, we chose a little money pit of a house and it's taking forever. We have a projected closing date of Tuesday, possibly Wednesday, before we can move in. Then, we have to have the house patched and painted, rip out carpet, wreck tile, and have new floors installed in the whole house before we can even think about moving anything in. Phew.

The military only pays for 10 days of hotels once you PCS, and our 10 days were up yesterday. In an amazing stroke of luck/fate/divine intervention, we met a fellow pilot out at Beale who just moved into a house half a mile away from Rawlings and who happened to leave for a week's vacation this morning. He offered to let us stay in his house for the week while we wait to close! Amazing. Beyond feeling extremely grateful for his generosity, I can't tell you how GOOD it feels to be in a house and not a hotel room. I love my husband, I love spending time with him, but I find myself getting antsy and frustrated when I'm 2 feet away from any person 24/7. Plus, it's the end of our restaurant fest that we've had going on since we got here. I also love eating out, but man I was getting sick of it. I just got back from the grocery store and I can't wait for a home cooked meal this evening!

While I don't mean to make this a blog post about finances, I will say this: California is expensive. California is even more expensive on one income. California on one income is even more expensive when you are trying to gut a house. Gutting a house in California on one income is very expensive when you expect to eat three meals a day.

My newest project, while waiting to destroy all the floors in my house (yippee, DIY!), is to figure out how to make a reasonable budget for grocery shopping and stick to it. In Del Rio, I tried to stay under $400/month, which I was usually able to do no problem, because we had lots of leftovers and I made a lot of my own stuff (chicken stock, bread, etc.). Everything in California is more expensive, but we're on a single income, so I can't raise that number. Because I am trying as hard as humanly possible to never set food inside a Walmart again, I'm also going to need to get into couponing and Costco-ing.

Oh, and I also need to get a job.

Does anyone have any tips for me on how to get started? With the budgeting thing, not the job thing. :)

Rawlings Mood Board

We are here! We are here!

After three full days of driving (Art drove all 30 hours, can you believe that?), we are here in Lincoln! We absolutely love it. The weather is crisp, but not too cold, it's sunny every day, and we have a beautiful view of the mountains everywhere we turn.

It took me, oh 10 seconds of being here before I started thinking about getting my hands on our new house.

I created this mood board to show my visions for our first floor. It's a really open floor plan, if you remember from these photos. A few of these things, we already own (couch, rooster), but the rest are things we will need to purchase or DIY. Most of what I found comes from Pottery Barn or Restoration Hardware, but please. We're on a budget here. There's a great little consignment shop in town where I hope to find some steals!

The Deets:
background color - (wall color in the entire house) "Wood Smoke," Glidden
solid pillow covers - Textured Linen in Blue Dusk, Pottery Barn
sofa - DuraBlend Cafe from Ashley Furniture
patterned pillow - "Iznik," Pottery Barn (no longer available... eBay?)
yellow rooster - MINE, from Hobby Lobby. Worth every penny!
pendant light - 13" oiled bronze vintage pendant light, Destination Lighting.
stone - image off Google, wanting to reface the fireplace
cabinetry - pre-existing, but I want to paint it ivory with a glaze, like this one
mug - Square Mug in Sunflower, Fiesta
tea kettle - Red, Le Creuset
drapes -Basket Weave Drapes in Linen, Restoration Hardware
hardware - oil-rubbed bronze bin pull, Bosetti-Marella
flooring - Hand Sawn Oak laminate, Home Depot

Closing should happen next week, then painting, then flooring. Hold on to your staple guns, we're about to get serious!

What we've been doing...

If you've ever moved, you know there is a constant to-do list full of errands, phone calls, packing, and purging.

If you've ever moved with the military, you know that there is all that, plus inordinate amount of red tape and seemingly purposeless paperwork. So we've been busy.

A part of me almost felt guilty for ending my job a full three weeks before our move date. I thought, "Man, joke's on them, I'll use two days to organize and run errands and the other two and a half weeks to work on my tan before we ascend to cloudy NoCal!"

That part of me had never done a military move. That part of me was wrong. That part of me is currently sitting in time out and cannot have any wine.

We've been crazy busy every day with all sorts of things. The logistics of moving two people, two cars, a boat trailer (that we apparently don't own... DMV headache), a boat, and a Chiweenie are infinitely more detailed than I ever would have imagined. Which has actually been a blessing, because it has made it much easier to let go and move away.

I haven't missed my job very much at all this week, mostly for two reasons:
1. I can pee whenever I want. Whenever I want. Only teachers truly understand how precious of a gift this is. I can also go to the bank, the post office, the dentist... all luxuries previously restricted to summer.
2. I forgot what #2 was, I was so excited about #1. Literally!

Also, our closing date for Rawlings has come and gone, sadly. This doesn't mean that we lost the house (Lord knows no one else is going to buy it!), but it does make it far less likely that the repairs we need done will be completed by the time we get there. Which likely means we will be living in a hotel and our stuff will be living in storage, at least for a little while. When buying from a bank rather than another human, this kind of thing happens. We are just hoping and praying that everything works out and that we can make this house what it really could be. We are keeping our fingers crossed that everything will work out, and soon!

My next post will (hopefully) be from California, as we are having our Internet disconnected on Monday.

So, bon voyage Del Rio. You were a lot like high school. I had a fun time while I was here, I learned a lot, and I had several embarrassing moments... but I very sincerely hope I never see you again! :)

The end.

Yesterday was my last day at work.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I didn't enjoy my job most of the time. For many reasons, it just wasn't a good fit. And then, in the same breath, I loved it. I loved my students so much. For many of them, my classroom and my school was the only place they felt loved. For those who have ever worked with low-income, minority, or low-achieving students, you know what I mean. My students were all three. I felt like I was their parent, and now I am abandoning them.

Yesterday, I was fine all day long. We said goodbyes, we laughed, we told stories about the year. The kids signed a poster for me and helped me clean up the room and pack my stuff. Many of them asked their teachers if they could stay in my room all day, and a lot of them did. I was happy the whole day, because like I said, I'm happy to leave that job. Then, the last bell rang, I went to the cafeteria to pull duty, and I just lost it. Not shed a little tear, but full blow sobbing. Of course my kids saw me and they seemed so shocked that I was finally showing emotion. I tried to be the strong, mature one (hello, I'm the teacher) all day and I just couldn't hold back anymore. I'm just going to miss them so much, in all their rotten, bratty, whiny, insubordinate, disrespectful glory. I also feel an enormous amount of responsibility and guilt.

I did what everybody always told me NOT to do: I took my students home. I worried about them constantly. Everything I did at school was for them, and everything I did at home to prepare for school was about them. One student in particular is a little girl who I also had last year (yes, that means she was repeating the 8th grade. We called it a "victory lap" like they do with 5th year seniors in college), and I'll call her Elizabeth here to protect her. I would have adopted this little girl if she needed it, and I'm not joking. I love her dearly and I'm going to miss her terribly. When all I could think about was taking the day off because I hated my job, I would think about her and get out of bed. Sometimes, she was the only reason I went to school. She wasn't the only student of mine that I cared for, of course, but because we had spent two years together, and because she was one of my worst kids last year and had totally turned around, we had a different relationship than I had with my other students. I remember the first day of school this year, when I found out she was repeating and I had her in my class again, and I remember feeling so comforted. Starting a new school year is terrifying, even for the teachers, and seeing a familiar face was so nice. We kept up the rapport the entire year, and when I told my class that I was leaving, Elizabeth burst into tears right away. I knew I was doomed.

The thing is, I really believe in these kids. I really believe that they are all smart enough to go to college, cure cancer and all that. I'm not just saying that because I'm a teacher and I'm supposed to. Remember that I taught a tutorial math class, specifically for kids who had failed a grade and/or the state math test. My school definitely didn't send me the "best and the brightest" as they say. Do you want to know what I taught them the last two weeks I was there? Polyhedrons. Interior polygonal angles. Plane geometry. Surface area of compound figures. Basic principals of engineering. None of those things are explicitly on the list of state standards I'm supposed to teach in the 8th grade (although they use concepts that are, of course), but they are on the list of standards for 9th, 10th, and 11th grade. My kids loved it. One of my students told me at the very beginning of the year that I was the first teacher he ever had that told him he was smart.

Stop just for a second and think about that. Can you imagine?? What if no one EVER told you that you were smart, worthy, capable?

By the way, I also told that student's father that he was smart, and do you know what he said, "No, he's not."

My point is, I feel terrible. I'm so sad and I've been crying intermittently since I left campus yesterday. I want to be the person that these kids can count on. They need consistency and a solid adult role model. I was that, and now I'm just another adult that let them down. That's why I was crying. Elizabeth will be fine. She really will. I expect her to send me a picture of her college graduation, and I bet she'll become a teacher. I'm so proud of her. I'm proud to say that I was a part of her life, even if I had to leave early. But I wonder about if I could have been to all my students what I was to Elizabeth. When we move to California, we'll be living in a much wealthier area with much better schools. Those kids, no matter where I work, won't be as desperate as some of the kids here. They won't need me. It makes me want to stay. Don't worry, I reality check myself quickly. I'm so excited to move to California and my obligations to Art exponentially outweigh my obligations to my kids. But it still doesn't feel very good. I'm still so sad.

I wrote a letter to my students, fully intending on copying it and giving them each a copy. In the end, I decided not to. I thought it would blur that teacher-student boundary more than I wanted to. I already feel like their mother, and I thought it would be bad for them if I made them feel like my children. So I'll post it here, because I want to document how I feel about my kids and my job. I hope my kids go on to be successful, and remember what I tried so hard to teach them this and last year.

My Dear, Beloved Students,


I have tried to send these messages to you throughout our time together through our work and your learning. Since our time is unfortunately being cut short, I find the need to say them explicitly.

You can, and you must, go to college. This assumes your graduation from high school. This is not what I hope for you, it is what I expect of you. It will not come easily, your higher education, but it is your right and you must fight for it. IT is the only way to ensure comfort for yourselves and your families. You all (and I do mean all) are capable of doing it. Believe me, you're ten times smarter than some of the dummies I went to college with. Your performance in high school will determine the colleges that will accept you, so take your work seriously. Study. Ask questions. Challenge your teachers (with respect). Do not listen to anyone who tells you you can't, because I have told you you can. And clearly, I'm the smartest person you'll ever meet, so my opinion has more weight.

Find your passion in life and pursue it. Do not settle for mediocrity or low expectations. Whatever you do, ensure that your whole heart is in it, or do not do it., This world is full of amazing people and experiences. Live it up. Celebrate everything. Do not let another human being meet you without leaving you a better person. Cherish your loved ones and give everyone second chances. These are the codes I live my life by, and they brought me to you.

You all can't possibly know the impact you've had on my life. You have made me more patient, kinder, happier, and more passionate about my work. You all have challenged me in was I never expected. I have loved watching you grow and I look forward to meeting the adults you become. Many people think I'm crazy for working with middle schoolers on purpose, but they don't know what I know. I'm the lucky one.


Good luck in the rest of the year and in your lives after.


It's been a real pleasure.


Much love,


Mrs. Bull