In the meantime, I have been lovingly pestered by my dear family and friends to update. The reason I haven't updated since I got my job, is, well... my job. In short, this job is the most exhausting, ideal-breaking, bubble-bursting, intense struggle I have ever gone through in my life. I could write for days about my experiences and why, in general, I'm finding it difficult to love my job. But I won't.
I have been called some form of "Sunshine" all my life. I'm blond, generally happy, and I try really hard to find the positives in life (I am my mother's daughter, after all). Looking back, man, that was easy. I've had the best life ever. My family is jam-packed full of love. I have always had all my needs (food, shelter, etc.) met. I went to three amazing schools and got a terrific education. In spite of all my faults, I am quite talented in a variety of different areas. WHAT was there ever to not look on the bright side about?
Well. I am quickly learning that optimism is about staying positive when maybe things aren't so great. Now, the above things are all still true. But a quick look at my life now will show that everything is different than it was before I got married and moved. As I quickly near the 6-month mark as Art's wife, I can't believe how different it is.
More than ever, I have to count my blessings. And I don't mean proverbially, as in, "just get over yourself," which is how I would have taken that phrase before. Literally, out loud, say everything I am thankful for. It's a routine I've adapted every day on my way home from work. It changes every day, but a few things make the list daily:
1. I have the world's best husband. Art was always nice to me, and the fact that we have been together for 8 years usually was enough to make other people jealous. When I came home crying from my first (and second... and third... and fourth...) day teaching, dinner was made. My lunch is packed almost every morning, and I get a hot breakfast almost every morning. I haven't done the laundry in a really long time. He lets me talk on and on about the same stuff every day, and listens like it's the first time he's ever heard it. I don't know how he knew exactly the support I would need as I try not to drown during my first year teaching, but he did.
2. I have a beautiful house, and it is something I share with above husband. It's the first house where we started our family (and yes, I consider us a family even though we don't have kids!). It's withstood a lot of storms.
3. Most people wish they had my dog. And how could they not.
4. Minus this moment right now, I am healthy. And I have a lot to be grateful for.
3 comments:
Well, let your Momma be the first to post a comment about this blog... Thinking positive... being optimistic... having a sense of humor... these things will get you through almost anything. Trust me. 8) Don't you ever lose your zest and enthusiasm for what you do! I thank Art in my prayers every day that he is taking such good care of my baby girl. 8) I love you both. Peanut, too. You will always be the sunniest sunbeam!
Awww. That was a great post Amy. I'm so sorry to hear that teaching is...well...perhaps not what you had hoped it would be. :( I hope things get better really soon!! And I'm so glad to hear that Art takes such good care of you. He really is awesome.
Hope you feel better soon!!
Hi Amy! I just wanted to tell you that I totally relate to the ideal shattering experience...it reminds me a lot of student teaching. But push through! I don't know what your situation is there but mine got better for me...just in time for it to be over. :) BTW, Bill and I moved to SC and I may need some advise in homesick management! Keep in touch!
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